“Salvation is a last-minute enterprise, boy.” — Hunter Renfroe (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his tenth and eleventh homer) my fantasy group that’s hurting for offense.
“Ladies are such durn fools.” — Enrique Hernandez (2-for-3 and his eighth homer, and 2nd homer in as many video games). Sizzling schmotato alert!
“You understand, if you’re little, you’ve extra endurance than God is ever to grant you once more. Kids are man at his strongest. They abide.” — Bobby Dalbec (2-for-4, 2 runs and his tenth homer). He’s the sort to get sizzling in a snap of the fingers, so in the event you want energy, I may see grabbing him instantly.
“ tree can not convey forth evil fruit. Neither can a corrupt tree convey forth good fruit.” — Alex Cora as he suits the Red Sox for buzzers. Anyway, right here’s what else I noticed yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Garrett Richards – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.96. For the reason that umps are checking Richards’s hat and glove, he ought to put some Spider Tack on his foot and hacky-sacky the ball to the plate. Can’t be a lot worse.
Emmanuel Rivera – 2-for-4 as he was referred to as up, and began at third base. First, can we simply be so grateful Emmanuel acquired out of that fireplace with the assistance of George Papadopolis –*intern whispers in ear*–I’m complicated 80s TV with actual life? Hmm, okay. So Emmanuel is just not a tiny individual, get that out of your head proper now. By the by, “Get that out of your head proper now” has been in my head for ten years, and all I hear if Gordon Ramsay saying it. Rivera hit 14 HRs, .282 in 44 Triple-A video games, however, previous to this yr, folks would’ve mentioned he’s a contact man first. I’m intrigued, y’all! However I’m solely monocle’ing him, exterior of AL-Solely.
Michael A. Taylor – 1-for-4 and his sixth homer. For the previous couple of quick schedule days, I’ve been batty calling M.A.T., and after getting nothing from him, properly, you realize the place that is going. I didn’t final night time.
Whit Merrifield – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his seventh homer. Each participant who desires to get traded in July, I image in June like Santa’s Little Helper making an attempt to get consideration. Whit Merrifield simply tiptoeing on his hind legs previous the TV.
Danny Duffy – 3 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 2.44. For Duffy, the entire ‘pitching without having a working arm’ goes about as swimmingly as Natalie Wooden.
Josh Naylor – Ended up with a fracture and dislocation of the ankle. I’d put his timetable for return round November, so if the Indians get right into a marathon sport that goes about fifteen-hundred innings, and lasts two months, delaying the tip of the season, he would possibly return this yr.
Franmil Reyes – Will play three extra rehab video games, and the Indians hope he’s again by Saturday. Um, I’m sorry, however what’s this, two weeks of rehab video games? The $54 Merchandising Machine Steak wants two rehab at-bats and a pat on the fanny. Let’s go!
Jose Ramirez – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 5 RBIs and his seventeenth homer, hitting .264. I’m so so sorry I didn’t decrease Jo-Ram’s rating when Lindor was traded. Everybody instructed me to, and it’s unbelievable how badly Jo-Ram’s worth plummeted and Lindor’s worth skyrocketed.
Matt Manning – 3 2/3 IP, 9 ER, ERA at 8.16. Even when Unhealthy Unhealthy Brad Brach the baddest man in the entire rattling league doesn’t get one save, I dropped Manning for him, so he’s saved my soul. Thanks, Unhealthy Unhealthy Brad Brach.
Miguel Cabrera – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his sixth homer. Elias Sport Bureau mentioned the Buddies reunion was over faster than Miggy’s dwelling run trot.
Kyle Schwarber– 3-for-5, and his twenty third and twenty fourth homer, and his 14th and fifteenth homer within the final 17 video games. Keep in mind when Sammy Sosa hit 20 homers in June of ’98? Yeah, properly, let me introduce you to Slammin’ Kyle Schwarber!
Trea Turner – 2-for-5 and his thirteenth homer. Juan Soto watched the Nats’ homers so we all know he is aware of dwelling runs exist. Simply tremendous glad Juan Soto’s taking launch angle classes from Yandy Diaz.
Pete Alonso – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his twelfth homer. Albombso!
Paolo Espino – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners (zero walks), 3 Ks, ERA at 2.02. From the worst character on the TV present, Misplaced, to a 34-year-old washout making good, say hi there to Paolo, which seems like a Fifties tune a couple of pool boy who’s sleeping with the singer’s spouse. Say hi there to Paolo, when he’s a-comin’, I’m all the time a-leavin’, that’s so a-weird-o… As for Espino, there’s nothing right here, even with Streamonator.
Colin Moran – Left yesterday’s sport after being hit on the wrist. On June sixth, he had a groin damage. On June ninth, he was hit on the hand and missed video games. On June thirteenth, he had decrease again tightness and missed video games. On June twenty eighth, hit on the wrist. Colin Moran is why my premiums hold going up.
Spencer Howard – 2 1/3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 5.82. Kinda irrelevant for fantasy (like a few of this different stuff isn’t — ha!), however what are the Phils doing with Howard? Are they making an attempt to smash his arm? Are they making an attempt to stretch him out by having him throw much less pitches every outing? Dubya tee eff, Phils.
Alec Bohm – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 4th steal, hitting .240. I instructed you Bohm hadn’t retired after final season, you foolish goose!
Nick Castellanos – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 7 RBIs and his fifteenth homer, hitting .347. The Greek God Of Onerous Contact has established himself as a prime 15 participant within the majors, and primary for guys with mustachioed moms.
Ian Happ – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his ninth homer. Good, Happ lastly does one thing this yr and it’s in opposition to the pitcher who’ve on extra groups than anybody. Admire it! It being an ulcer.
Kyle Hendricks – 6 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.98. Hendfixed–Kidding, not doing that anymore. I don’t know what’s happening with Hendricks, however he provides up so many homers. Oh, Boydian.
Freddy Peralta – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners (4 BBs), 8 Ks, ERA at 2.17. He gave up two fast runs within the 1st inning, and, in earlier years, he would’ve got here unraveled, however FreddyKBB has alligator blood.
Avisail Garcia – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his fifteenth homer. You suppose Yelich ever watches Garcia and simply sighs? Considering, “I used to have the ability to hit homers, however at the least I’ve a sizzling mother.” Little does he know, Avisail is prolly sleeping with Yelich’s mother.
Keston Hiura – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 4th homer, and 2nd homer within the final two video games, and third homer within the final 4 video games, and, sure, 100% seize him proper now in each league.
Willy Adames – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his eleventh homer, and 2nd homer within the final 4 video games. I like Adames, however, past that, typically complete groups simply warmth up, and the Brewers’ lineup was lengthy overdue.
Ryan Mountcastle – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer, hitting .269. Mountcastle, the British seaside detective drama, has had an awesome month of June (~.350, 9 HRs). So significantly better than Mt. Fortress, the LLC that sells inflatable bouncy castles out of a storage, that struggled in April and Might.
Austin Hays – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his seventh homer, and has a six-game hitting streak. If somebody has a streak of their hair, it’s a unique shade. A Hazy Shade of Winter was written by Simon & Garfunkel, and Simon would throw shade at Garfunkel, and Garfunkel wanted shade for his bald head, however with out it, Garfunkel’s head would flip sunburn, which is orange, and Austin Hays’s head shade in his hat is orange. Coincidence? C’mon, there’s no such factor.
Paul Fry – 1 1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.68. Hey, severe query, has any center relievers been made closers this yr and had it work out?
Ketel Marte – Hit the IL with a left hamstring pressure. He missed six weeks earlier this yr with a strained proper hamstring. After an exhaustive search on WebMD, I can confidently conclude there’s no center hamstring, so Marte must be fantastic in one other month.
Paul DeJong – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his tenth homer, hitting .171. Colonel Mustard within the dry cleaners with a hanger!
Corey Seager – His rehab project has been indefinitely postponed. Has been sidelined for six weeks, and nonetheless can’t really feel his hand when hits. As a macho one who has felt the sting of hitting a baseball in a 40 MPH batting cage, is just not feeling the baseball so unhealthy?
Mookie Betts – 2-for-3 and his tenth homer. Mookie Greatest! (Although, he’s been like Mookie a hundred and twentieth Greatest this yr.)
Max Muncy – 1-for-4 and his sixteenth homer. The whole lot about Muncy’s peripherals makes me suppose he’s extra of a .270 hitter now vs. the .240 one he was coming into this yr. Strong, sustainable changes had been made.
Trevor Bauer – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.59.
If you’re on the retailer asking which aisle are the condoms pic.twitter.com/ibkSLrnLCv
— Razzball (@Razzball) June 28, 2021
LaMonte Wade Jr. – 2-for-4 and his sixth homer, and 2nd homer within the final three video games. Sizzling schmotato alert!
Wilmer Flores – 4-for-4, hitting .269. He was a schmotato final week, and Wilmer’s nonetheless going, for crying out loud!
Gio Urshela – 2-for-3 and his tenth homer. Simply had a thought, what if Ohtani performed for the Yankees? You thought the hype was loopy now. Ohtani would have a city named after him in Jersey. Goodbye, Ho-Ho-Kus, hi there Oh-Oh-Ohtani.
Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-3 and his 14th homer, hitting .268. “When you want another, Giancarlo, we may make it .269.” That’s what I wrote on a greeting card I placed on Giancarlo’s pillow as I used to be disguised as a resort maid.
Shohei Ohtani – 1-for-5 and his twenty sixth homer. Already began engaged on the highest 100 for the 2nd half, which I’ll put up on the Patreon, earlier than placing it up right here through the All-Star break, and, when rating Ohtani, I used to be mainly like, “Okay, how do I quantity this if I put him above the primary slot?”
Dylan Bundy – 1 2/3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 6.78. However left the sport early when he began throwing up on the mound. Adrian Houser vomited so Dylan Bundy may ralph. That’ll be the final time Bundy tries to cover Spider Tack in his dip. Ya know, after I noticed him vomiting, I believed, “Lastly, Bundy is aware of what it’s prefer to personal him in fantasy.”