Fernando Tatis Jr. went down in a heap after a swing, and I fell off my sofa, rolled three ft and laid there for twenty minutes till Ted, my canine, positioned his butt on my face, the signal we mutually agreed on for “he must be walked.” Exterior, we noticed two pigeons educating a 3rd methods to fly once more with damaged wings. I stood by that hopeful scene signing Mr. Mister, “Take these damaged wings…and be taught to fly once more, be taught to dwell so free,” and I used to be briefly uplifted. Then, the department they had been perched on fell, and deposited all three in entrance of site visitors. Feathers blew up in my face, triggering my allergic reactions and I informed Ted, “Let’s go house and sob underneath some blankets.” It’s not possible to know absolutely, till the Padres say someway, however you’d must assume that Tatis solely injures himself on a swing if he was taking part in harm already. As of this writing, the Padres are saying a partial dislocation, which might imply weeks vs. months, and can be comparatively excellent news. Additionally, when you may even take into consideration subsequent steps, I grabbed Jurickson Profar, and Jake Cronenworth and Ha-Seong Kim ought to see a rise in taking part in time. I await additional information whereas securely underneath these blankets. Anyway, right here’s what else I noticed yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Adrian Morejon – 4 IP, 2 ER, 2 Ks. Ugh, so few Ks. Overlook Morejon, we wanted Mostjon.
Evan Longoria – 1-for-4 and his third homer. Undecided which season it was of Determined Housewives that featured a Zombino, however it’s operating on repeat this month.
Akil Baddoo – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and a grand slam (2) and legs (1), hitting .429. Okay, I’m in. Don’t even care if Akil Baddoo is Chris Shelton, Half Baddeux. Whether it is, I’ll drop him after he slows down in every week.
Nelson Cruz – 3-for-6, 3 runs, 5 RBIs along with his 1st and 2nd homer. As he rounded the bases on the primary house run, Nelson Cruz yelled, “Get off my garden!” As he rounded the bases on the 2nd house run, he turned 84 years previous. Joyful birthday, Nelly!
Matt Shoemaker – 6 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks. “You will have 44 extra innings left this yr, use them correctly.” That’s a genie speaking to Shoemaker.
Luis Arraez – Left yesterday’s recreation with an harm. Changing Arraez was Willians Astudillo (3-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs), who got here straight from working a child’s party the place he was performing as a “horrible fielding catcher, who can hit .310” and he glided by the title: Yermin Mercedes. By the by, how does Mercedes not have a large dookie gold chain with a Mercedes emblem hanging from it? Yo, you want Gray to present you drip classes?
Joakim Soria – Hit the IL with a calf pressure. *insert man from Half Baked* “Moo this man!” Kevin Ginkel was warming up the opposite day when Soria got here into the eighth (for no obvious cause!), so he’d be my alternative for nearer substitute. Chris Devenski obtained the save, and it’s a must to ask your self, how badly would you like the 5.00 ERA-slash-4 saves coming from certainly one of these guys. Oh, and Crichton is there too, which is acceptable because it’s a thriller who their nearer is.
Tommy Edman – 1-for-3, 2 runs and his 1st homer. Wow, all I assumed I used to be getting from Edman was place eligibility.
Elieser Hernandez – Hit the IL with biceps irritation. Get a tat of flames in your arm and shizz occurs. He’s seemingly out for months vs. weeks. It’s not good.
Trevor Rogers – 4 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners (4 BBs), 6 Ks. Early on, Mr. Rogers wasn’t within the neighborhood of the plate. He did all the time wish to go for a stroll in a Card once more, however he settled down and, yeah, I’m keen on all leagues.
Kevin Pillar – 1-for-5, 1 run as he hit leadoff. Is that this for actual? I informed you to not draft Dom Smith and didn’t myself, however the Mets had an additional 4 days and so they come again with Kevin Pillar at leadoff? Insert Gordon Ramsay, “Oh, f*ck off.” A typo and main off with Villar would’ve made extra sense.
Jacob deGrom – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks. Wasn’t drafting any of the highest starters, however I’m a giant silly individual for not placing deGrom primary. I suppose the Mets’ incapacity to get him any offense may maintain him again, however his pitching is foolish.
Matt Moore – 3 1/3 IP, 2 ER. Matt Moore seems to be like he has this alternate loads: Random individual, “You appear to be somebody…” Matt Moore, “George Clooney?” Random individual, “No, that’s not it.” Any hoo! I’m under no circumstances but, exterior of NL-Solely leagues.
Austin Hays – Hit the IL with a hamstring pressure. *locations hand on chin to assume issues over* Pardon me, I’m simply Mullins’ing issues over.
Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer. After the sport, he mentioned, “Why does my backpack preserve following me?” At which era, I caught my legs by the bag and walked away.
Jordan Montgomery – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks. Lot of noise across the Yanks that shouldn’t all the time be believed, as a result of the media echo chamber they play in, however Montgomery is definitely good.
Colin Moran – 2-for-4 and his 2nd homer, and 2nd in as many days. Scorching schmotato alert! Additionally, within the 1st inning, Evans homered. Evans and Moran, can solely imply Good Instances and Joyful Days.
Jesse Winker – Wasn’t in Monday’s beginning lineup. Actual query: You’re sitting on an airplane, and on walks Winker and Byron Buxton. Do you get off the aircraft for worry one thing dangerous is about to occur?
Mike Moustakas – 2-for-3, 2 runs and his 1st homer. Moistasskiss!
Nick Castellanos – 2-for-4 and his third homer. The Greek God of Exhausting Contact is kicking ass, everybody else is Castellanus.
Bryan Reynolds – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer. They need to have a Yinzer problem the place they method folks on the streets of Pittsburgh and ask them which Pirates participant they’re most enthusiastic about. “My parrot doesn’t simply rely to eleven, he can listing the profession stats of Kent Tekulve.” That’s a Pirates fan who can’t title a present rostered participant.
Whit Merrifield – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his third homer. Means too lazy and uninterested to do the easy search, however it appears like Merrifield is nice each April solely to eventual cool.
Jesse Hahn – 1 IP, 0 ER and his save, though Greg Holland, Scott Barlow, actually everybody was rested. I feel I’ve found out what’s occurring. If folks must tune in each ninth inning to see who the nearer is, it seems that individuals are watching the Royals, and that’s good for advert buys.
Tim Anderson – Out with a sore hammy. You and Kermit, man.
Carlos Rodon – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks. Suppose he’s rostered in most leagues, so it doesn’t matter, however I all the time battle trusting Rodon.
Yermin Mercedes – 3-for-4, 2 runs, hitting .667. Okay, the man’s title is virtually German Mercedes. Are we positive this isn’t a LARP? Was he engineered by a person named Dieter with an eyepatch? Did he come up within the minors with a man named Slav Yugo? Discover me some solutions!
Chad Pinder – Hit the IL with a knee sprain. The A’s may flip to Ka’ai Tom, who sounds just like the man in your workplace who went to Hawaii and located himself. “Tom, you gonna stare at that coconut monkey financial institution all day otherwise you gonna work?” “Please, name me Ka’ai Tom.” So, Tom’s obtained contact issues — 28+% strikeout charge incoming, and may hit .210, however has some energy and a bit velocity for AL-Solely.
Mark Canha – 2-for-5 and his 1st homer, as he hits leadoff. With all of the lineup motion throughout each single workforce, Mark Canha feels 95% safe at leadoff, and 100% able to producing extra worth than you count on. Canha: Capacity to have the final snicker.
Will Smith – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer, and 2nd homer in two days, and, fast! Dave Roberts! Bench him!
Mike Trout – 2-for-3 and his 1st homer. Can’t discover any scouting experiences on this man. Is he new?
Javier Baez – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer. Based mostly on nothing, properly, I suppose on him, so Baez’d on intestine, he’s going to have an enormous 30/15/.280 season.
David Bote – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer. I wish to pronounce his final title “beau-tay.”
Keston Hiura – 0-for-4, hitting .000. My daring prediction that Hiura can be demoted to the minors, after hitting underneath .200 for the primary few months is…Effectively, will he make it just a few months?
Nick Pivetta – 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners (4 BBs), 4 Ks. As I informed you in my 2015 Nick Pivetta sleeper submit, “He’s going to be nice in his first begin in 2021.” Undecided why none of you listened.
J.D. Martinez – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and 2nd in as many video games. Simply Dong as a result of Simply Don’t isn’t an choice.
Mike Foltynewicz – 4 IP, 4 ER. Foltynewicz is similar as Faultyoldwitz.
Steven Matz – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks. Line seems to be higher than it was, and Streamonator favored this begin — as a result of the Rangers are usually not good — and hates Lengthy Island Matz’s subsequent begin.
Marcus Semien – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. I don’t need to ever dwell by a yr like 2020 once more, however I do preserve having pings of remorse about guys I drafted final yr that I don’t have this yr. Like a White Russian in a brothel the place they don’t use milk, Semien and Ketel would’ve made an orgasmic cocktail.